The Intimacy Lie
Q: I've been seeing a guy friend for 8 months now. He'd just gotten out of a longterm relationship and so he's clear he can't have any expectations or demands put on him in any way. Basically, he wants to come and go as he pleases. It's painful for me not to have any say about when I get to see him but I feel like if I am patient, eventually he will be mine. What should I do?
A: This works out well for your guy friend. He has the benefits of a girlfriend but doesn't have to rise to the expectations of a boyfriend, which would include respecting your needs. Beware of the word “friend.” It can often be used by people to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. When it comes to relationships, some things ought to be black and white, not gray and murky. If he wanted to be your boyfriend, it would have happened by now.
Are you in a relationship dilemma? Please give me a call or message me, and I'll be happy to help you out.
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