Why Won't my Teen Talk to Me
Believe it or not, your teen does want to talk with you! Many times, however, parents are trying too
hard to force communication with their teen by giving unsolicited advice, cornering their kids, or blowing up. Let's talk about a few ways you can change your behavior today to help encourage more open and honest communication with your teen.
Are you often giving advice about what your teen should or shouldn't do to solve problems? Are you consistently feeling frustrated that they don't do what you suggest? Stop giving advice! Instead, consider these possible responses to open up dialogue:
Reflect what you see: “Kate, something has made you sad.” (then shh...don't talk.)
Act without talking: Rub Kate's back or knee. Nod sympathetically. Give an encouraging smile.
Use one word responses: “Oh!” or “Really?” or “Hmmm...” (and then hush!)
Ask open ended questions: “Then what happened?” or “What do you think your options are?”
Be available: If you teen wants to talk, she or he will often let you know nonverbally first (stomping around, crying, heavy sighs). Put down whatever you are doing and turn to face your teen. Pull the car over if you need to. Use your body to show that you are available if they want to talk. A kind smile without words goes a long way.
If you have any questions about this article please give me a call at 403-527-2114
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